YOU are most likely a Corvette owner if.
- If you've ever bought a piece of clothing to "match the car."
- If you have multiple cars in the family, but everyone refers to the
corvette as "THE car"
- You've driven an hour+ and had to take a day off work to buy a $10 car
part (that does not affect the operation of the car in anyway)
- If your car is 26 years old and you find out that it still has the
original fuel filter, and you're HAPPY!
- If you have more than one car, and the one that is 20 years older than the
other runs 10 times better
- If you know the exact DATE which your car was built (Jan 16, 1974) but
forget your girlfriend/wife's birthday (Uh, I was going to get you something
honey but I)
- If you know the exact day you bought your car (April 3, 1999). But forget
- If you've ever explained (in detail) to your girlfriend who "Zora"
- If you know that "Corvette" is a small French ship known for
- If you have 100% cotton towels for your car and you use old, worn-out ones
in your bathroom.
- If you have a PO Box that your wife does not know about so you can get
your mods in the mail.
- If you refer to your Vette as if it were your child.
- If, instead of your spouse, you carry a picture of your car in your
- You hang pictures of Vettes in your GARAGE so she's not lonely.
- If you've actually had a momentary twinge of worry at night, when you turn
out the light in the garage, about leaving your 'Vette alone in the dark.
- You spend more time vacuuming the 20 square feet of carpet in your Vette
than your 2000 square foot house.
- Feel that you must scrub the underside, you never know, some mechanic may
get the wrong impression of you if it's dirty.
- Find yourself looking at your reflection in large plate glass as you drive
- If a bird craps on it, you stop turn around and go home to clean it off.
- Drive around town to every Starbucks looking for an outside table next to
a parking place because you think people are impressed by watching you drink
coffee next to your Vette.
- You order a build sheet for your Vette even though you have no idea what
- You have a window sticker hanging in your bedroom.
- You think people that drive BMW's are commies.
- You think all Japanese cars are junk driven by young punk rice boys that
want to race you
- You think there's a chance it may rain.. I'll take the Lexus
- SUVs aggravate you because they are bigger that you are..
- You find it necessary to keep pressing that little button that goes
between oil temp/water temp/fuel avg./ etc..
- Even though you've never changed oil in any car you've ever owned, you
want to do it on your Vette because nobody else knows how
- You go to the drug store to buy cotton swabs for your car instead of your
- You cause traffic jams as you maneuver your Vette around a puddle of water
in the street.
- When nobody is looking, you talk to it and swear that it understands you
- You get very depressed if you've been cruising all day and stopped many
times but nobody comes up and says.. "Wow, nice Vette!"
- You keep a shop manual in the bathroom for your reading enjoyment while
taking a dump
- If you understand that "Owning" does not necessarily mean
- You have one pair of sunglasses that are designated Vette shades. You
never wear them while driving the "other car".
- You spend half an afternoon and cause bodily harm to yourself trying to
get that last little leaf that's stuck to your radiator through that little
hole on the right side of the shroud.
- If every time you talk about your Vette to ANYBODY, you say "The
Vette" instead of car.
- If nobody under the age of 30 is allowed in your garage.
- If the weatherman predicts rain and you are VISIBLY upset.
- If you yell "Save the wave!" to people who don't wave back.
- You have an 11'X4' corvette poster on the wall above your bed.
- You wave at other Corvette owners when you are out for your evening jog.
- Your friends make sure they bring up your car more than you do, when you
meet new people.
- You tell everyone that you will drive yourself when a big group is going
out even though there is plenty of room in another vehicle.
- And everyone fights over who gets to ride with you.
- You flip through every page of Eckler's, Mid America and Corvette Central
every month even though they have the same parts every month.
- You look at parts for C1s, C2s, C4s, and C5s even though your car is a C3!
- "Ooo" and "Ahh" over another Vette, that for all
intents and purposes could be your Vettes twin (same year, color, etc.)!
- While looking to buy a house, garage space and condition is the first
thing you look at.
- You decline a night at the "gentlemen's" clubs with friends,
because you need to be up early the next morning to get to the track.
- You grit you teeth, and scowl, every time you see a Mustang on the road.
- Your 10 year old kid has been programmed to warn his little friends to
stay away from the car without you having to prompt him.